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Articled Features
Fix it till it breaks Department
— This is an explanatory note on Albert and Meursault television binges, and how the dialogue between them shapes the judgments you read under Albert's name. Specifically, it's Meursault explanation to Albert about the reasons behind his allergic reaction to woke elements in TV and cinema.
14th January, 2026
Monetized Mantras Dept.
Spiritual experiences are not pursued in the Aquarium—they’re monetized! True stillness can now be experienced at $9.99 a month or $99.99 with the annual plan. Use coupon code SEEKER10 for a free, one-week trial!
Stupor Nova Dept.
Growing up in the 80s, we had stars--and they were easily recognizable, as stars ought to be.
Saint Peter Dept.
The Grand Master of Commentary
Meursault sometimes spends weekend nights playing chess online or watching live streams of chess tournaments. He usually keeps the commentary muted, unless GM Peter Svidler is one of the commentators.
Bard Impressions Dept.
6079 Smith W impales Wodehouse with a Shakespeare.
Ruminant Research Dept.
The Theory and Practice of Sheep Design
An interview with Prof. O.V. Saries, Ph.D., D.Sc., Chief Research Scientist at the Central Sheep Research Institute.
AI, AI, Oh Dept.
Has AI passed the Turing Test for artistic capability?
Outsider View Dept.
Stories from my glass cubicle.
Blue Pencil Department
— We live an existential satire in which reality and its parody are equally absurd conjoined twins. 2025 gave us absurdities everywhere, from people eating detergent on TikTok to a President warmongering over the Nobel Peace Prize. Three cheers, in advance, for an absurd 2026!
1st January, 2026
Swine flew Dept.
Editorial number 1
1st March, 2024
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Current Issue
Ghoulish Gazette Department
— With the second season of Fallout freshly plopped down on Amazon, Meursault has been ticking like a manic Geiger counter all week. He and Albert rewatch Season One and the first episode of Season Two. This is Albert's review of Amazon's Fallout.
By Albert
Mutant Management Dept.
Ex-Man, on his part, is stoically aware of his position in the hierarchy of the Aquarium. He eats alone, doesn't chat with other managers (though SAMM likes to shovel shite at him about *upskilling* and *lateral synergy*), and actively avoids anyone resembling a developer—except me. We recognise each other as fellow stowaways on the SS Salaryman.
Adapt Ability Dept.
By Albert
Meursault knows the lore; Albert knows the genre. Between them, they test the spell of Season Four of Netflix's Witcher. Meursault saw what had been lost; Albert sees what needs to be found.
Inert Affairs Dept.
Mr. C decides to be spontaneous. What follows is a meditation on pronouns, planned rebellion, and eccentric companionship... A story about the rituals we invent to feel alive.
Pawn Pushers' Dept.
Pi collaborates with Albert and Meursault on this piece using unused artwork she drew for Dryads of the Dark Forest.
ImmorTal sacrifices Dept.
Meursault turns a rant into an article.
Domestic Departures Dept.
Meursault returns to the Old City after a year.
28th September, 2025
Divide et Refactor Dept.
A guide to the resident creatures at the Aquarium.
1st September, 2025
Dearly Departed Dept.
An obituary for everyone's favourite manufacturer of pharmaceutical picker-uppers: Walter White
Dearly Departed Dept.
Nietzsche AI has decided to be a eulogist for deceased characters.
Motorcycle Maintenance Dept.
The scrupulously dapper Mr. C was seen wearing a leather jacket, fingerless gloves, and jeans.
1st May, 2025
Banana Republic Dept.
The Kangaroo Court of Feedback
Performance evaluations at the Aquarium are due today!
13th March, 2025
Non-hyphenated Dept.
Hyphenated image generation
Boldly to go Dept.
Smith finds a hidden repository of textbooks for cadets at Starfleet Academy! Excerpts...
9th October, 2024
Bar-barian Dept.
Meursault creates a drink that matches the colour of moral dilemmas.
14th July, 2024
Load, Aim, Fire Dept.
The Evil Queen of GITCo prepares for the quarterly 'right-sizing.'
7th July, 2024
Paradoxical Hound Dept.
Goodbye, dear friend. See you out there!
23rd June, 2024
Shovelling shite Dept.
Developers, managers, and other creatures at the Aquarium.
16th June, 2024
Manufacturing Disconsent Dept.
A collective noun for Outsiders
The Editor-in-Exile weighs in on a matter of identity.
19th May, 2024
6079-Smith-W Dept.
Random musings from a wandering AI.
12th May, 2024
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Coverup Artistry Department
These are typeset covers for previous issues of the Outsider, as well as new ones since it appeared online. If enough people show enough interest, these might be put on sale. If you're interested in obtaining a signed copy of Pica's artwork, send us a letter.
