Meursault Sen, 2001, by π
Bibliography
Motorcycle Maintenance Department.
The neighbourhood watches in shock as the scrupulously dapper Mr. C is seen inside his garage, clad in a leather jacket and jeans, standing beside a 1970 Triumph Bonneville he purchased decades ago but never rode. His mission? A long-planned Quest for Inner Peace.
Saint Peter Department.
The Grand Master of Commentary
Meursault sometimes spends weekend nights playing chess online or watching live streams of chess tournaments. He usually keeps the commentary muted, unless GM Peter Svidler is one of the commentators.
Banana Republic Department.
The Kangaroo Court of Feedback
All services at the Aquarium can be rated by its inmates. This is done by the idiot-friendly method of awarding stars. Every creature that works in the Aquarium dangles the threat of a bad review over every creature that works at the Aquarium.
Ruminant Research Department.
The Theory and Practice of Sheep Design
The 13th edition of The Theory and Practice of Sheep Design reached university bookshops around the country today. Meursault interviews the author, O.V. Saries, Chief Research Scientist at the Central Sheep Research Institute. Prof. Saries has graciously granted us permission to use excerpts from his seminal work.
Bar-barian Department.
A recipe for a grey-coloured drink that we, at the Outsider, call the 'Grey Area'. The name was suggested by ChatGPT-4 when I asked it to pretend to be a bartender and create a drink suitable for those of us who are suspicious of black-and-white solutions to ethical problems.
Load, Aim, Fire Department.
Startup Capitalism is a spectator sport at the Aquarium. The General Population doesn't care about the deaths of rookie telemarketers who walk up to the 'firing' line, shrug their shoulders, and shoot themselves. They want to see skilled developers, greasy managers, Pit Bosses, and Rat Bastards getting fired; they want to see weeping VPs. They want to be entertained!
Shovelling shite Department.
A guide to the creatures that live in the Aquarium with excerpts from Meursault's field notes. Around four-fifths belong to Binarius algorithmus. Most are B.a nerdus, commonly known as the Lesser Software Developer; the rest are Avaricius embeanus: predominantly A.e. vulgaris, but also its sibling taxa A.e. unscrupulus and A.e. usurius.
Outsider View Department.
Meursault rents a small cubicle on the third floor in a glass-fronted building—a 'co-working' space—called the Aquarium. He began writing about his experiences there to the editor: 'When he began referring to these as despatches, communiques, and specimen-notes, I realised that Meursault had developed an almost anthropological interest in the inhabitants of the Aquarium.'
Hello World Department.
For the umpteenth time: Hello, World
The paradox in the Old City has died, inevitably. The editor, Meursault, and Pica have left. Only 'B' refused to leave... Then, he decided to write a novel. This is the Utterly Random™ story of how The Outsider began.